Our chairman is so minted he can afford to buy a round in the Cherry bar dancing

We've been bought out by the Thai bloke who owns King Power duty free. Initially I was agin it, although at least that cunt Manderic has been sidelined. Then today I received a letter from the new owner, thanking me for renewing my season ticket and offering me a free whore of my choice anywhere in LOS.

Changing the name of the ground an'all, to the KP Stadium. We've gone from playing in a crisp bowl to a nut bowl.

Make sure you pay at the right till or it will be off to the monkey house.