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Old 09-16-2009, 06:10 AM   #1
hawk3164

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Default Your Experience Married To A Thai

I am in a new (very new) relationship with a Thai girl. Professional (teacher) age 33. I have read the book Thailand Fever and there are many issues that concern me.

What I would really appreciate is if you are an American and you have been married to a Thai girl for 5-10 yrs living in Thailand would you please get in touch with me so I might have a discussion with you on some various subjects that give me some concern. Reading a book is good but information from someone that has been there and done that is the best.

You can of course reach me here but you can also write to me at hawk24@gmail.com

Thanks

Dj
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:18 AM   #2
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DJ..........

Get some more time under your belt here in LOS before you even think about getting married my friend!

Make several more trips here to LOS and spend time with your special lady as YOU choose. I am not anti-marriage,
nor anti-relationship, and have not spent a lifetime here, but for every one relationship success there seems to be 10 failures.
You could probably say the same for relationships back in Farlang-Land, but there is a whole different set of rules here. Are you
ready to be stabbed in the middle of the night by your partner because she had a bad dream where you were boinking
someone else? Think I am joking.......... ask around if it happens! Despite what you may hear, Thai culture is a very violent
one, confrontation is often resolved with knives, guns, and flying ashtrays. And I won't even ask you if she has a "brother"
that visits her from time to time. (Just ask our fellow member Mirkwood about that one)

The most famous quote in LOS.......... "My girl is not like that, she is different!"

I do not think you need to limit your inquiries to just gents from America who have had relationships with the Thai ladies.
Any information at this point should be viewed as beneficial by you.

Hope all is well back in the Mother Land and you get back here soon. The gals at X-Zone were asking about you again
the other nite! You must have given that gal a good rooting for them to keep asking about you! YOU STALLION!!!
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:41 PM   #3
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Hi Hawk,
I'm not going to give you a clever one line negative answer like most will do when people ask this question.

Right. Thai's and marriage.

My ex wife was a teacher in Bangkok and we stayed in England over 5 years so I'm probably not a bad bet for advice.

It's difficult writing about all those years in a few hundred words but here goes.

Thai ladies in Thailand are lovely.
It's very old fashioned. With no social security and government help ladies still need men. Most of them want a falang because of money. Simple.
It's not all one way either. For your money you get a sexy lady who wouldn't look at you in your own country. So I think it's a fair pay off.

There are more than a few snags with Thai/falang relationships mainly because both parties don't know how to play by the rules.

The following is only IMHO. Don't take it to heart. Just read and decide whats relevant to you.

Before you choose a lady to settle down with.......

1. Look at her family.

You might have found the best looking, best fuck, English speaking and clever girl in the whole of Thailand but............

Do not go any further until you have met her family.

Now lets not be silly here. Most girls us lot meet have poor families. What I'd call a good family only expect you to bung them a bit now and then. Yes, if you get married you're going to get kicked up the goolies with sinsot (dowry). We know and don't like that but it's reality.

You're not going to get away with paying f*** all but what I'd say is a decent Thai family/girl won't hit you too hard or often.

The clever girls learn not to go in strong and unless you've lived with or known your girl very well for a few years and let her get her feet under your table you won't know what you're dealing with.

A bad family will ruin your relationship. Simple. 100%.

People blame the girls for everything when they split up but from my experience 99.99999% of the time it will be family related.

As an example. My Thai wife was fairly happy in UK.
We had a nice house, new cars, good jobs and a son.
OK, she's not typical and everyones different but one day her family started on the jungle drums. Her sister and cousin had married Swiss men and were sending home loads of money buying land etc.

The wife started getting all discontented and next thing she's on about going to work in Zurich. To cut a long story short we split.
I am best friends with her now and we still go on holiday together for the sake of our boy. She's told me loads of times she was happy but she has a poor family behind her.

That's what I'm on about.

I met another girl a few years on. (Rose).
Got on fantastic. Probably my best ever relationship with TG. Non stop laugh ,sex and happy times. Loads of people knew us on here who I hope would back that up. Anyway, same story. One day the mum said ' David money not enough' and that was that.

Loads of tears from her but she did what was required and is now with some old fella who's paying out loads of dough.

Your girl doesn't sound like part of the P4P scene but again IMHO I wouldn't start thinking she's different unless her family are able to stand on their own feet. If that is the case you might have hit the jackpot.

2. Other TG's in your own country.

The number 2 biggest cause of trouble in your marriage will be other Thai's.
God knows why. You'd think they would all be nice to each other in the falang country but they aren't.

First question they will ask each other when they meet. ' How much does he give you'.

Your Missus might say this much and the other girl will always lie and say she gets more.
Result........Your missus will get twisted up and the other girl will be giving her bloke a hard time as well if she's getting less.

They are bastards.

This competition thing I've seen in all TG's. Rich and poor. Of course I see the poor in Pattaya but I also see the richest TG's as well in Zurich. The above two things are killers for a relationship.

TG's have a do or die attitude as well. They live for today and do have the guts to walk away and start again. I've not met many that have had the sense to know they are on a good thing. So so many kill the golden goose. You only have to read the boards to understand Thai mentality.

How many girls go weeks without a customer then next bloke who wants to take them gets hit with double price. Same with hotels same with everything in LOS.

3. Money.

The root of all evil.
Even if you have dough your not safe. Loads of times I always thought that if I'd had more money I could have been happy with both my ex's. WRONG.

I'll give you an example. It's a true story.

I've got a mate who doesn't go on message boards.

He's about mid 50's. Fat and not terribly good looking but he's a nice fella with a heart of gold.

He got divorced from his English wife, split the house etc and still came away with a few quid. Bought himself a cracking house in a posh area near me.

Anyway, he starts going to LOS and within 2 trips he's met a girl and wants to marry her.

He paid a visa agent and got her back here, married her and thought he was sorted for life.

We went round to meet them and my Thai wife got on well with her. You know, sit on the floor eating hot grub etc.

Anyway, I was shocked to hear after only a year or so they were having serious problems in their relationship.

I asked Add (my ex wife) what was the matter?

She told me.

David (my mate) earns £4500 take home a month.

I said 'Yeah'.

Well Wan (his missus) thinks he's kineow.

Now I knew that Dave was bunging her way way too much money. Without being a c*** here. Wan was 40'ish , fat and IMHO on her last knockings as a beer bar girl. She'd hit the jackpot big time with him.

Turns out she had 3 kids in the jungle and my mate was sending................Wait for it..........£1000 a month to support them.

On top of that he was letting her work up the Thai resturant full time and keep her money which must have been another £600- £800 a month on top.

If that wasn't enough he was taking her up the Thai food shop and treating her to anything she wanted. She had so much Thai food (which is expensive here) that she was giving it away and chucking it out.

Add the fact he was treating her to clothes, tickets back home and generally spoiling her rotten I was shocked to her my ex say he was kineow.

I said 'How can he be kineow when she gets all that from him every month?'

Answer..........Well, David takes home £4500 but only gives her £1000.

I was stunned.

End result. They split after a load of grief. She tried to get paid out of his house and the court finally awarded her £10,000.

She blew the lot when she went home and now lives in her mates spare room. Does she regret it?

Nope.

There are just some of the things you're dealing with.

I'm not saying don't do it because I would be a hippocrite. I love TG's to bits and would marry another one no problem.

Only learn as much as you can about Thai culture first. Nobody is an expert as everyones different and there are some happy endings out there.

Good luck anyway.

Last edited by Mirkwood : 09-16-2009 at 03:51 PM.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:02 PM   #4
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Just a few questions.....

How many times have you been to Thailand ?
Where did you meet you GF ?
Can you read, write and speak Thai ?
Are you on the same social status ?
Does she have children ?
What are your shared interests ?
What is the age difference ?

I'm not going to disagree with Mirkwood but he is basing his reply on a bargirl or monetary relationship , if that is your case then you're a fucking mug and run a mile if it isn't a case of girl wishing to better herself financially by being involved with you than answer my questions to yourself and go on from there.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:10 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirkwood View Post
My ex wife was a teacher in Bangkok and we stayed in England over 5 years so I'm probably not a bad bet for advice.

.
Bollocks you cunt she flogged her box in Happy agogo, I'd rather get medical advice from Harold Shipman than marriage advice from you.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:57 PM   #6
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Milky, your talking bollocks saying sinsot will cost the original poster, not always the case by any means. If you marry a girl from a middle class family then in many cases the sinsot will just be for show and will be returned after the wedding. The only people paying sinsot for ex bar girls will be clueless farangs getting striped. Just for the record i was'nt asked for ane nor did i pay a single satang in sinsot when i married.↲
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:30 PM   #7
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some good posts here......interesting thread.....

And no, I am most definitely NOT thinking about it!!!
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:36 PM   #8
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Quote:
Bollocks you cunt she flogged her box in Happy agogo
Yes she did that as well.

No seriously. She was a teacher in Bangkok for 6 years before her dabble with Go Go's.

She was one of only girls I've met in Pattaya with degree, car and new house.
Must have been doing something right.
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:05 PM   #9
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Milky, not being funny but what a girl did before they became a bar girl is far less relavent than what they do and how they conduct themselves when they give it up. The point is you cannot undo being a bar girl but you can move on from there. ↲
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Old 09-16-2009, 09:29 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilbobaggins View Post
And no, I am most definitely NOT thinking about it!!!
Maybe not, but its only Thursday....
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