[timanonymous]

Okay I'm done with her. I'm letting her go and NOTHING she says or does will change that. God help me.

Is this how crack addicts feel?

Still going to apply at Chulalongkorn Uni though.

[bigphill67]

Originally Posted by foz

If its not mirky in desquise its some other odd bod...................should we have a poll on who it is ?

my monies on you your the one all loved up

[bigphill67]

Originally Posted by timanonymous

Okay I'm done with her. I'm letting her go and NOTHING she says or does will change that. God help me.

Is this how crack addicts feel?

Still going to apply at Chulalongkorn Uni though.

so whats made you feel like this tim your nine months away from your next trip a text a week will keep in touch with her, then when your there meet a new girl see if its the same or not and make your decisions then

[timanonymous]

so whats made you feel like this tim your nine months away from your next trip a text a week will keep in touch with her, then when your there meet a new girl see if its the same or not and make your decisions then

Everybody knows about the story of the farang who falls in love with a thai bar girl but I thought I was different because I'm young and think I am an excellent judge of character. I think I am actually a pretty cynical and suspicious person so I like to think that nothing gets past me.

In the past if I have been tricked or cheated it is because I saw the warning signs but completely ignored them.

However, the more I read these forums the more suspicious I become of my girl. I told her before I left that I understood that she needs to work. I even told her that if she needs to sleep with customers in order to make it in Bangkok that I would understand but I told her that it was her heart that I wanted.

I am suspicious that her heart is not mine and that it was never mine. I don't like to have this doubt in my mind for 9 months. So I just want to let her go (I struggle with myself though).

Here's her texting on my company phone yesterday:



I swear if after all I have seen, if she isn't crazy about me, then any guy who goes to Land of Siam is doomed. It's like Bangkok is the blackhole for men's hearts.

I am not the kind of person to talk about "love" or how I "feel" about some woman. I haven't had my heart broken since I was 15 when I thought I "learned" better than to let a girl lead me on. They have ever since meant nothing to me. Something that was secondary to my career or education, but then this girl came along in my vacation away from my vacation and I realized that I can still want a woman to desire me and not just the other way around.

If she's crazy about me then I hurt cause I am suspicious. If she's not crazy about me then I hurt cause she isn't.

[foz]

you need a doctor tim

You're not the first and you won't be the last to lose the plot over a bargirl, trouble is you think you're the only one to feel like this.

[KeeNeow]

Simple test next time you come back to Thailand stay with her and don't give any money other than buying her food and and drinks and see how long she stays with you. I know I m cynical but it is for a good reason I don't believe them.

Originally Posted by KeeNeow

Simple test next time you come back to Thailand stay with her and don't give any money other than buying her food and and drinks and see how long she stays with you. I know I m cynical but it is for a good reason I don't believe them.

I'll go for 5 seconds

[foz]

Ill go if he dosent send her any money she wont even turn up

[Isee]

I didn't think I would be posting again on this thread, but:

I'm going to go against a couple of people here and not be so harsh on the girl. Its very easy for us to sit here and put our negative experiences in LOS to cast a view based on what you have said. To put things into perspective, there is more than one member on this forum who have permanent GF/wives that they first met in the bar scene.

You really need to put things into perspective yourself - so while one can generalise about thais, you might meet 100 thais in a row to confirm that general view and once in a while, you will meet someone who is a bit different (no, this isn't the same as "my girl is different because she's my girl"). So really, you are the best judge to determine the character of someone because you spent the time with her. Being the first time interacting with thais, you just need to learn a few of the common "tricks of the trade" so to speak, which you can assess a girl you think is a bit different.

OK, getting back to putting things into perspective:

1. Thai love is not the same as Western love. Thai love is much more practical than some of the western girls silly notions of a "Shinning Knight" or a "Tall dark and handsome guy" to sweep them off their feet and live happily ever after like all good fairytales end. So you saying you want to secure her heart is really a wrong approach - because bargirls just like anyone else have to protect their feelings just like anyone else and too many bad experiences will make them just as jaded and non-trusting as some of us on here.

2. About being one of the fish in the pond - just being practical. In the West we refer to the ole saying of "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" - thats a concept that thais live by everyday of the week - can't blame the girl for keeping her options open.

3. Time will tell. If you can put your feeling in check for a while, see how things progress with the girl - just keep away from the frequent "I love you - I wait for you" sort of texts - so you need to get that one into check straight away. If between now and going back you start to get requests about not having enough money etc, then you can start to be more critical of her short term motives. Tell her you can't help her and see if she keeps up with the level of contact as before. If she asks for silly amounts like 10k to go see the doctor, once again you have something to confirm where things are. There are 100's of possibilities, if you aren't sure - post it on here and see what some of the responses are. It could well be she wants to decrease the number of guys she sleeps with but also being realistic that bills have to be paid. A modest girl in BKK can get away with about 10k a month (6k for rent and 4k food etc) - anymore and she is choosing the lifestyle she wants to live.

Anyway, that is the gist of things for the moment, if you want to see her again when you get back, tone things down a bit and test things out over the next 9 months. The fact that you are wanting to go live there for a while would be a huge draw card for any girl if you told her. Even though I say thais are generally stupid, some can be quite clever in the short-term to not ask for money etc. Where thais really come unstuck is they aren't very good liars and if you have a good memory, you can generally pick up the inconsistencies. Same with being there and not giving her money, if she is working, she has bills to pay - can't pay her nothing and expect her to take out a chunk of her money for the month just because you are there.

As I said previously, things are both simple and complex in the LOS. If she's after a quick buck, it should become obvious soon enough. If she's looking for long-term security (thai love) then that is going to be a longer road to travel. So basically, no one really knows if she is a hardcore bargirl looking to separate as much cash from you as she can before you wise up or a girl ultimately looking for a guy who will look after her and get her out of the bar scene. There are so many variables, I could write just as much more as I have above. You say you are pretty switched on in assessing people, listen to what people say here and see whether that is applicable to your observations and commonsense. Just don't go from one extreme to the other.