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Old 04-16-2010, 12:53 PM   #11
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Thanks everyone. I am feeling much better now. Actually I feel more motivated to get back to work now because I know exactly why I am working

To go back to Thailand!
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Old 04-16-2010, 03:41 PM   #12
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the first few weeks of leaving LOS is without doubt one of the most depressing times of your life i know it takes about 3 to 4 weeks of getting back into a routine of work ect before that horrible feeling starts to go and then your thinking about planning your next trip and looking forward to it 10 months will soon pass and you'll be back on the way to the airport to board your flight to a mongers paradise just keep your head down and you'll be back before you realise it
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Old 04-16-2010, 06:18 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timanonymous View Post
Thanks everyone. I am feeling much better now. Actually I feel more motivated to get back to work now because I know exactly why I am working

To go back to Thailand!
Ooops!!! They got another one.

Welcome to the club mate. I was you 10 years and nearly 25 trips ago.
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:07 PM   #14
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I met some Brits over at Hillary 1 on Soi 4 and one of them told me that he had come to LOS on holiday and never returned. He told me he had been in country for 6 years now!

I thought "this guy is crazy", because I talked to those Brits on my first day in Bangkok but now that my holiday is over I completely understand.

I kept thinking at the airport of my last day, "maybe there is some way I could squeeze in another day". Then my girl was crying at the airport making it so much harder. I remember looking out the window as I flew away feeling miserable. I even happened to get a business class seat because of some seating problem on the flight but I didn't eat anything or watch any movies or enjoy any of the amenities offered by business class on an Emirates flight. I felt sick. I just sat in my seat playing the videos I took of my girl on my blackberry over and over. Either that or looking at pictures I took of Bangkok.

Then I got in Afghanistan and the contrast was way too much. I was supposed to check in with my company as soon as I arrived but I didn't. I went to a tent and took out a little water gun that I got from the Songkran festivities and drank the few drops of water that were left inside. I took out a small bear that my thai girlfriend had given me and kissed it. Then I called her and asked her if she loved me. Of course she said yes and I said I loved her too. Then I told her I had to go and hung up. I suddenly didn't feel as sick anymore but my mind was telling me the whole time, "Tim, you need to let go". But I couldn't. I needed to tell someone where I had been and what had happened and that is why I wrote this trip report.

My thai girlfriend gave me a small bear and told me that when I am in Afghanistan that this is her. She told me that now you can hug and kiss me wherever you go. I said okay and kissed her and I want more than anything to just throw that damn bear away and forget it all but I can't. I wont until I can plainly see that she is only trying to trick me for money or maybe that she is not interested in me anymore.

I haven't given her any money since I got here in Afghanistan but if she asks I will say no. I will throw the bear away and forget. It's a really horrible feeling. I only had this feeling one other time in my life and that was after my first serious relationship when I swore I would never allow myself to fall in love again.

I NEED to go back in 10 months because of this girl and also because I think Bangkok is where I belong. I think I should have lived in Bangkok a long time ago. I think my entire life I have been a foreigner. I'm actually half chinese and half mexican. So when I go to Hong Kong to see my relatives the locals treat me as a foreigner. When I am doing my thing in the US, Americans treat me like a foreigner. When I went to high school in England, Brits treated me as a foreigner. Bangkok was the only place I have ever been to where I have not felt like a foreigner. Everyone thinks I'm Thai there. I think I finally know what it is like to be normal and I want to always feel this way.

Last edited by timanonymous : 04-16-2010 at 08:30 PM. Reason: Needed to add something
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:45 PM   #15
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That last part is very interesting Tim, i know what its like to always be looking for somewhere to fit in . Sometimes i feel more at home in Thailand than i do at home. Its as i said before, the place is intoxicating,...its culture, its food, the lifestyle , its affordability and mostly its women . And many have become spellbound by it and suffered by not keeping a level head and keeping one foot in reality. But as long as you keep doing what you have done here and get reality checks from time to time, you stand a good chance of keeping your sanity and your money and have a hell of a time.
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Old 04-16-2010, 09:53 PM   #16
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Get a life ..................................Bin the bear
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:32 AM   #17
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There is some really good advice on this thread.

I'll give you some as well.

How you are feeling is normal. Think about it in black and white.
I'd guess your job and lifestyle in Afganistan is a bit boring. You haven't got a girlfriend. You are mixed race and don't feel like you belong.

Suddenly, you have discovered this wonderful place. Thailand.

Everyone likes you. Days are spent walking round shopping, having sex and drinking.

First time you go out looking for a female partner you not only meet your dream girl but she falls in love with you.

You spend the rest of the holiday having sex and you are both broken hearted to part.

And they all lived happily ever after.....................


But they don't.

It's about your money my friend.

If you had turned up in Bangkok with no money you would have been treated like a dog. For starters, Thai's are the most racist people on planet earth. Yes, they act lovely to foreigners if they get money out of them but that's all.

When your girl walked up to you. If you hadn't bought her a drink and acted in a kind hearted manner that gave her the right signs,she wouldn't have bothered speaking to you.

Most blokes on here have fallen for TG's exactly the same as you.

Now here is what you don't know.

Your girl probably did have big feelings for you while you were with her. She's probably had this senario several times and is in contact with all the men.

When you went home and told your mates about what a loving girl you had met, she was on the phone to her mother saying ' I think I have man fall in love with me'.

Like the hooks been baited. See what happens.

Thai girls bait lots of hooks hoping a fish will bite. It's all they can do. They only have their pussy and mouth to snare you. The money is in your pocket. That's the only tools they have to extract it.

It would take too long to explain on here all the Thai culture issues, bar girl mentality, relationships between working girls and customers and money relationships.

To be honest even if you read it all and understood it some things can only be learned through experience.

I promise you what you are feeling/thinking is not the same as whats going on in your girls head.

Thailand and Thai girls are great.

If you start coming here there is no reason you can't find happiness with a girl.

However, before you even think about settling down with one I'd tick all these box's.


1. Fuck at least 100 different Thai girls.

2. Go long time (ie spend days/weeks/months) with lots of them.

3. Have arguements and fights with some.

4. Go home with some and meet the family.

5. Go short time with lots of them.

6. Talk to as many as you can.

7. Learn about Thai culture and more importantly Thai bar culture.

8. Speak to as many people as you can who have married bar girls.

After that lot you might be ready for a crack at one.

Young fella like yourself. I'd come here for fun and leave it at that if you can.


10 months is like 100 years in the life of a bar girl. She probably won't be seeing you next trip. You'll spend a day or so mopping around then you'll meet another one and have just as much fun. Dont worry about it.
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Old 04-17-2010, 04:16 AM   #18
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I'll use Mirkys reply to add some of my own thoughts for the OP.

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Originally Posted by Mirkwood View Post
If you had turned up in Bangkok with no money you would have been treated like a dog. For starters, Thai's are the most racist people on planet earth. Yes, they act lovely to foreigners if they get money out of them but that's all.
Unfortunately very true. Thais are about getting money from others while keeping their own. You may think you have found an exception, but its just a facade - even if she was driving around in a Porsche and shopping at Paragon on daddys credit card, she's just as interested in your wealth as much as a pattaya bargirl.

Quote:
Thai girls bait lots of hooks hoping a fish will bite.
Very true again, the best case scenario for you is that you might (on the looks/age/wealth department) be the preferred fish in the bowl, but if one of the other fish offer her a good enough deal today, you aren't No. 1 on the list anymore. A smart girl will keep you on the backburner in case things don't work out and give you any number of reasons to the change of their availability. They are looking for financial security (be that short or longterm), it doesn't matter if that security is you or someone else despite what they may say.

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It would take too long to explain on here all the Thai culture issues, bar girl mentality, relationships between working girls and customers and money relationships.
Agreed, even if you wrote a book on it, someone somewhere will say its rubbish and that they know this thai/wife/GF etc....Yes there are the exceptions, but its easier to talk broadly to get the point across instead of diluting your point all the time with qualifying exceptions.

I could tell you after all my observations that the general population of thai people are stupid who focus only on the gains of today rather than the riches of tomorrow. Thais are so caught up on being materialistic and gaining "face" - that they do some very stupid things. One example is a thai guy who spent 100k baht on building a "bung-fai" (rocket) and then had his car repossessed the next month because he missed his car payments to pay for the rocket. Why did he do it? He wanted to big note himself to the locals and gain that all important "thai face" at the expense of his daily transport.

But as I said, someone will take an exception to such a broad statement and come back saying its just being the "usual thai bashing". I've met guys who had such a strong view that everything was the usual "thai bashing" and met them some time later holding quite a different view. Its all about how much you see and how much your eyes are open. Plonking yourself in your favourite beerbar in Pattaya is not going to give you the insight of seeing how the games can be quite similar elsewhere in thailand. The more savy you get with how things are suppose to be, the more you should start to see that thai smile dip a little each time. When they work out they can't play you, you then start to see the real thai attitude.

Quote:
If you start coming here there is no reason you can't find happiness with a girl.
Agreed, the hard part is finding the right girl for you. Some will dismiss Issan girls (whether they are bargirls or not) as never being suitable - but the supposedly Hi-So thai/chinese girls are just as good (if not better) at fukking you over than any village lass.

I know a very educated girl in BKK whose profession is an accountant whose company does consultant work for companies checking their financial records etc (investigative stuff). When I first met her she had the usual story - thai BF's are bad etc etc and after having a farang BF for a while, she could never have another thai BF again. Its been about 2 years now (we've just been friends) and she finally exposed a bit of truth that she really wants a "good" (aka well off) thai/chinese guy, but is settling for a farang because she knows she won't snag said thai/chinese guy. The reason why, is that while she herself has got a chunk of thai/chinese DNA, one of her grandparents is full Issan. Yep, a well off thai/chinese family wouldn't allow their son to marry into such a family if the son doesn't want to be financially disowned. So the poor farang sod that marries her will never be what she really wanted - despite her denying that is the case.

Quote:
4. Go home with some and meet the family.
hmmmm...you'd have to have a few trips under your belt and pretty confident about some of the games that go on in the village on such trips. Unless you've gone through everything else and "think" the girl is right for you, I don't see any point going to their village - especially if you are only over for 2 something weeks.

Two final comments:

1. Yusa is right about about likening it to a jungle - you are only going to see and understand so much. After a while of hacking away, you might see a little farther. The thai way is both simplistic and complex - a lot of hacking at the jungle to start to see what things are about.

2. Not sure if it was Yusa or Mirky who raised this point - life goes on after you leave and the girls still have to pay for rent etc. Some guys accept that the bird will continue working (yes she was on the job with you) and some can't deal with that reality. Its the latter who are the most willing to go down the full-time sponsorship route. Despite what a lot of girls will say, not all of them are looking forward to returning to village life.

Last edited by Isee : 04-17-2010 at 04:21 AM.
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Old 04-17-2010, 05:53 AM   #19
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I now have a lump of concrete for a heart and a peanut for a brain when I go on my hols. That way I don't think too much or get carried away with stupid ideas
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Old 04-17-2010, 06:37 AM   #20
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^ don't you have two peanuts down there for that brain??

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