[Lemon face]

Originally Posted by Mirkwood

Hi Hawk,
I'm not going to give you a clever one line negative answer like most will do when people ask this question.

Right. Thai's and marriage.

My ex wife was a teacher in Bangkok and we stayed in England over 5 years so I'm probably not a bad bet for advice.

It's difficult writing about all those years in a few hundred words but here goes.

Thai ladies in Thailand are lovely.
It's very old fashioned. With no social security and government help ladies still need men. Most of them want a falang because of money. Simple.
It's not all one way either. For your money you get a sexy lady who wouldn't look at you in your own country. So I think it's a fair pay off.

There are more than a few snags with Thai/falang relationships mainly because both parties don't know how to play by the rules.

The following is only IMHO. Don't take it to heart. Just read and decide whats relevant to you.

Before you choose a lady to settle down with.......

1. Look at her family.

You might have found the best looking, best fuck, English speaking and clever girl in the whole of Thailand but............

Do not go any further until you have met her family.

Now lets not be silly here. Most girls us lot meet have poor families. What I'd call a good family only expect you to bung them a bit now and then. Yes, if you get married you're going to get kicked up the goolies with sinsot (dowry). We know and don't like that but it's reality.

You're not going to get away with paying f*** all but what I'd say is a decent Thai family/girl won't hit you too hard or often.

The clever girls learn not to go in strong and unless you've lived with or known your girl very well for a few years and let her get her feet under your table you won't know what you're dealing with.

A bad family will ruin your relationship. Simple. 100%.

People blame the girls for everything when they split up but from my experience 99.99999% of the time it will be family related.

As an example. My Thai wife was fairly happy in UK.
We had a nice house, new cars, good jobs and a son.
OK, she's not typical and everyones different but one day her family started on the jungle drums. Her sister and cousin had married Swiss men and were sending home loads of money buying land etc.

The wife started getting all discontented and next thing she's on about going to work in Zurich. To cut a long story short we split.
I am best friends with her now and we still go on holiday together for the sake of our boy. She's told me loads of times she was happy but she has a poor family behind her.

That's what I'm on about.

I met another girl a few years on. (Rose).
Got on fantastic. Probably my best ever relationship with TG. Non stop laugh ,sex and happy times. Loads of people knew us on here who I hope would back that up. Anyway, same story. One day the mum said ' David money not enough' and that was that.

Loads of tears from her but she did what was required and is now with some old fella who's paying out loads of dough.

Your girl doesn't sound like part of the P4P scene but again IMHO I wouldn't start thinking she's different unless her family are able to stand on their own feet. If that is the case you might have hit the jackpot.

2. Other TG's in your own country.

The number 2 biggest cause of trouble in your marriage will be other Thai's.
God knows why. You'd think they would all be nice to each other in the falang country but they aren't.

First question they will ask each other when they meet. ' How much does he give you'.

Your Missus might say this much and the other girl will always lie and say she gets more.
Result........Your missus will get twisted up and the other girl will be giving her bloke a hard time as well if she's getting less.

They are bastards.

This competition thing I've seen in all TG's. Rich and poor. Of course I see the poor in Pattaya but I also see the richest TG's as well in Zurich. The above two things are killers for a relationship.

TG's have a do or die attitude as well. They live for today and do have the guts to walk away and start again. I've not met many that have had the sense to know they are on a good thing. So so many kill the golden goose. You only have to read the boards to understand Thai mentality.

How many girls go weeks without a customer then next bloke who wants to take them gets hit with double price. Same with hotels same with everything in LOS.

3. Money.

The root of all evil.
Even if you have dough your not safe. Loads of times I always thought that if I'd had more money I could have been happy with both my ex's. WRONG.

I'll give you an example. It's a true story.

I've got a mate who doesn't go on message boards.

He's about mid 50's. Fat and not terribly good looking but he's a nice fella with a heart of gold.

He got divorced from his English wife, split the house etc and still came away with a few quid. Bought himself a cracking house in a posh area near me.

Anyway, he starts going to LOS and within 2 trips he's met a girl and wants to marry her.

He paid a visa agent and got her back here, married her and thought he was sorted for life.

We went round to meet them and my Thai wife got on well with her. You know, sit on the floor eating hot grub etc.

Anyway, I was shocked to hear after only a year or so they were having serious problems in their relationship.

I asked Add (my ex wife) what was the matter?

She told me.

David (my mate) earns £4500 take home a month.

I said 'Yeah'.

Well Wan (his missus) thinks he's kineow.

Now I knew that Dave was bunging her way way too much money. Without being a c*** here. Wan was 40'ish , fat and IMHO on her last knockings as a beer bar girl. She'd hit the jackpot big time with him.

Turns out she had 3 kids in the jungle and my mate was sending................Wait for it..........£1000 a month to support them.

On top of that he was letting her work up the Thai resturant full time and keep her money which must have been another £600- £800 a month on top.

If that wasn't enough he was taking her up the Thai food shop and treating her to anything she wanted. She had so much Thai food (which is expensive here) that she was giving it away and chucking it out.

Add the fact he was treating her to clothes, tickets back home and generally spoiling her rotten I was shocked to her my ex say he was kineow.

I said 'How can he be kineow when she gets all that from him every month?'

Answer..........Well, David takes home £4500 but only gives her £1000.

I was stunned.

End result. They split after a load of grief. She tried to get paid out of his house and the court finally awarded her £10,000.

She blew the lot when she went home and now lives in her mates spare room. Does she regret it?

Nope.

There are just some of the things you're dealing with.

I'm not saying don't do it because I would be a hippocrite. I love TG's to bits and would marry another one no problem.

Only learn as much as you can about Thai culture first. Nobody is an expert as everyones different and there are some happy endings out there.

Good luck anyway.

One of the best posts I have ever read on any board, terrific input thanks

[monsterman]

Yeah check out the family of the girl as well, some family members can be big trouble.

[daveo679]

Did you read Money number one.

[jimmycricket]

Man I gotta say marriage if you are NOT CAREFUL can be the pits. Does not matter which race your girl is.

I am 29 was married a few years to a hot young caucasian girl. We married for love but I was 24 she was 17 and well bitch was young dumb and crazy.

Anyways the point is theres many gems in this world. and just as many gold diggen money grubbin bitches who just see ATM stamped across your forehead. So if shes honestly a great catch and really likes you, then sure go for it. But if they just wanna have you stick your personal credit card in their pungtang and have dollar bills shoot out. Well I say best to just fuck em good, fuck em hard, then put em in your rearview mirror :).

GL to ya!

[fearules]

Not Amercan but I have been married to a Thai girl for 14 years ish. Not ever a bar girl. She worked in admin at a US owned electronics company.
In fact she is not a Thai now but British and her Thai passport is out of date. She says she isnt Thai but English !!
My advice to anyone considering a cross cultural relatinship is the same.
Make sure you know the girl properly and make sure she knows you. You have to talk. If thats difficult its not the time.
I was lucky my wife had great English but even then there is issues of cultural expectations.

The first month was heaven the next two difficult but when she got a job and started to understand the Uk she just went from strength to strength.

I would have more trouble marrying an American.

Cant stand eating with the fork in the right hand its disgusting.

Dont worry about books. They are not a useful source for basing your behaviour on.

A bit like the Koran and the Bible.
If we all followed them the streets would be running in blood.

[fearules]

Originally Posted by jimmycricket

Man I gotta say marriage if you are NOT CAREFUL can be the pits. Does not matter which race your girl is.

I am 29 was married a few years to a hot young caucasian girl. We married for love but I was 24 she was 17 and well bitch was young dumb and crazy.

Anyways the point is theres many gems in this world. and just as many gold diggen money grubbin bitches who just see ATM stamped across your forehead. So if shes honestly a great catch and really likes you, then sure go for it. But if they just wanna have you stick your personal credit card in their pungtang and have dollar bills shoot out. Well I say best to just fuck em good, fuck em hard, then put em in your rearview mirror :).

GL to ya!

Race has nothing to do with it. We are talking about culture.

It realy neesd to be clear.