[timanonymous]

so whats made you feel like this tim your nine months away from your next trip a text a week will keep in touch with her, then when your there meet a new girl see if its the same or not and make your decisions then

Everybody knows about the story of the farang who falls in love with a thai bar girl but I thought I was different because I'm young and think I am an excellent judge of character. I think I am actually a pretty cynical and suspicious person so I like to think that nothing gets past me.

In the past if I have been tricked or cheated it is because I saw the warning signs but completely ignored them.

However, the more I read these forums the more suspicious I become of my girl. I told her before I left that I understood that she needs to work. I even told her that if she needs to sleep with customers in order to make it in Bangkok that I would understand but I told her that it was her heart that I wanted.

I am suspicious that her heart is not mine and that it was never mine. I don't like to have this doubt in my mind for 9 months. So I just want to let her go (I struggle with myself though).

Here's her texting on my company phone yesterday:



I swear if after all I have seen, if she isn't crazy about me, then any guy who goes to Land of Siam is doomed. It's like Bangkok is the blackhole for men's hearts.

I am not the kind of person to talk about "love" or how I "feel" about some woman. I haven't had my heart broken since I was 15 when I thought I "learned" better than to let a girl lead me on. They have ever since meant nothing to me. Something that was secondary to my career or education, but then this girl came along in my vacation away from my vacation and I realized that I can still want a woman to desire me and not just the other way around.

If she's crazy about me then I hurt cause I am suspicious. If she's not crazy about me then I hurt cause she isn't.