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bazzap · 11-21-2021, 07:32 AM

Where is my old mate, The Bagman?? We have a serious issue and we need to throw in our two bobs worth.

The Australian Test cricket team needs a new captain as our man Timmy has fallen by the wayside for doing what 99% of men have done in one form or another over the years. Years ago nobody would have cared but we are now in a different era.

Time to put on our thinking caps

The following would have probably been the First Test line-up (not that I agree with it)

1. Warner
2. Harris
3. Labs (coz I still can't spell his name)
4. Smith
5. Head
6. Green
7. Paine
8. Cummins
9. Starc
10. Hazelwood
11. Lyon

Lots of talk in the media about pretty boy Cummins being named as captain. I hope not. He is way too nice. The last bowler to captain Australia was Benaud, 60 years ago and he was a leggie. Australia does not have fast bowlers as their captain. So that leaves out No.'s 8, 9, 10. Lyon used to shag other women while being with his former partner so no chance for him.

Australia's Test captain was normally the team's best bat. After Benaud, we have had Simpson, Lawry, I. Chappell, G. Chappell, Simpson again, Yallop, Chappell G. again, Hughes, Border, Taylor, S. Waugh, Ponting, Clarke, and Smith. So pretty close to the mark. Paine was not the best batsman but an old-school gentleman.

So the process of elimination begins

Warner & Smith? No fucking chance. That would cause a civil war.

Labs? Best bat but a bit of a hothead. Not born in Australia. No.

Head and Harris? Lucky to have a spot. No

Green? A bit young and a rookie. No

What to do, what to do?

Normally the captain should come from NSW but no one in the team fits the bill. There has only been one Western Australian captain (Hughes) but he cried. Only one Victorian (Lawry) but he was too boring and raced pigeons. Yallop does not count as he was there by default. One Tasmanian (Ponting) but he was an off-field gambler and brawler in the Stokes mould. Both Chappells came from South Australia but that was the 70's. The place is fucked now. No real Queenslander captains Australia.

What to do, what to do?

Then it struck me!! We have to go a bit left-field.

My New Australian Test team

1. Warner
2. Harris
3. Labs
4. Smith
5. Marsh M.
6. Green
7. J. Pierson w/k
8. Cummins
9. Hazelwood.
10. J. Richardson
11. Lyon

And the captain? My man, Mitch Marsh, of course. He is the best Australian batsman at the moment, a born leader and good mate of Langer's. He just needs to curb his enthusiasm with regards to punching walls. Punch a few Poms instead.

After he won the World Cup for Australia a week ago, it was said that he was the most popular player on the team and that everyone loved him. The natural choice.

Jimmy Pierson to be V/C. He captained QLD to a rare Sheffield Shield win and is in good form.

There ya go. I have solved Cricket Australia's problems again

Time for another Leo

11-21-2021, 07:32 AM	#534
bazzap Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 9,316 Shouts: 5789 Thanks: 11,374 Rep Power:	Where is my old mate, The Bagman?? We have a serious issue and we need to throw in our two bobs worth. The Australian Test cricket team needs a new captain as our man Timmy has fallen by the wayside for doing what 99% of men have done in one form or another over the years. Years ago nobody would have cared but we are now in a different era. Time to put on our thinking caps The following would have probably been the First Test line-up (not that I agree with it) 1. Warner 2. Harris 3. Labs (coz I still can't spell his name) 4. Smith 5. Head 6. Green 7. Paine 8. Cummins 9. Starc 10. Hazelwood 11. Lyon Lots of talk in the media about pretty boy Cummins being named as captain. I hope not. He is way too nice. The last bowler to captain Australia was Benaud, 60 years ago and he was a leggie. Australia does not have fast bowlers as their captain. So that leaves out No.'s 8, 9, 10. Lyon used to shag other women while being with his former partner so no chance for him. Australia's Test captain was normally the team's best bat. After Benaud, we have had Simpson, Lawry, I. Chappell, G. Chappell, Simpson again, Yallop, Chappell G. again, Hughes, Border, Taylor, S. Waugh, Ponting, Clarke, and Smith. So pretty close to the mark. Paine was not the best batsman but an old-school gentleman. So the process of elimination begins Warner & Smith? No fucking chance. That would cause a civil war. Labs? Best bat but a bit of a hothead. Not born in Australia. No. Head and Harris? Lucky to have a spot. No Green? A bit young and a rookie. No What to do, what to do? Normally the captain should come from NSW but no one in the team fits the bill. There has only been one Western Australian captain (Hughes) but he cried. Only one Victorian (Lawry) but he was too boring and raced pigeons. Yallop does not count as he was there by default. One Tasmanian (Ponting) but he was an off-field gambler and brawler in the Stokes mould. Both Chappells came from South Australia but that was the 70's. The place is fucked now. No real Queenslander captains Australia. What to do, what to do? Then it struck me!! We have to go a bit left-field. My New Australian Test team 1. Warner 2. Harris 3. Labs 4. Smith 5. Marsh M. 6. Green 7. J. Pierson w/k 8. Cummins 9. Hazelwood. 10. J. Richardson 11. Lyon And the captain? My man, Mitch Marsh, of course. He is the best Australian batsman at the moment, a born leader and good mate of Langer's. He just needs to curb his enthusiasm with regards to punching walls. Punch a few Poms instead. After he won the World Cup for Australia a week ago, it was said that he was the most popular player on the team and that everyone loved him. The natural choice. Jimmy Pierson to be V/C. He captained QLD to a rare Sheffield Shield win and is in good form. There ya go. I have solved Cricket Australia's problems again Time for another Leo __________________ It's All About The Light Last edited by bazzap : 11-21-2021 at 07:49 AM.