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Mirkwood · 05-22-2011, 05:19 PM

The Girl with the Green Hair.

Venue Berlin.

Things changed. People came and went. Every week something mental was happening. A normal day would involve smoking super skunk morning, noon and night. My mates in the digs came up with a great idea. Instead of spending all our money on Skunk every week we would grow our own in the digs.

First we did a research and development program. We bought as many books on the subject as we could get our hands on.
After a month or so we were experts. We took one weekend off and headed for Hamburg. Our mates there had picked up what we wanted from Amsterdam. Interlord were getting into the dope growing business.

My job had been to find the correct strain of gear. Being a bit of a nostalgia freak I had decided on the original hippie skunk Durban Poison. It's fast growing, gives big plants and was supposed to be lethal. Sounded good to us.

images.jpg

Nod my mate was in charge of lighting. Alex concealment. Jocky watering and Linnie diversions and security. We were big time.
The only problem was we were smashed and paranoid all the time but didn't realise it.

The plants needed 24 hours lighting at the start. This would be difficult because people see lights at night. We converted one of the bedrooms into something Anne Frank would have been proud of.
In our secret room went the plants and lighting.

So far so good. We had the special lights and the plants grew and they grew and they grew.

The male plants were seperated from the females. After a few weeks the lights were put on timers 12 hours on and 12 hours off. Jocky was doing his Percy Thrower bit and the harvest festival was fast approaching.

We were all at work minding our own business. Suddenly our names came over the tannoy. We all went to the office. A very angry red faced Pat Mcgrath was standing there with all the bosses.

' What the fook are you bastards trying to do to me?'

To cut a long story short. The landlady at the digs had got her electricity bill. Obviously it was a fair bit higher than usual. She'd complained to the company who sent a man out. First stop was the box where he got dizzy watching the dials spinning around. It was on top. Our Anne Frank room was discovered. Pat had squared everything up and luckily the police weren't involved but we were out on our ear. Our stuff was dumped outside the digs in black plastic bin bags.

A deal was done and we found ourselves back in my original Motley hall digs in Wacow. This time minus the smack head.

It was grim. Very grim. We were back to sharing rooms. In the other place we'd had our own. On top of that the rooms at the back were occupied with the worst animals I had ever seen in my life. There was a team of Brickies from Runcorn. Now I've never been to Runcorn and refuse to ever go there in case I meet guys like these brickies.

I thought us lot were bad but these blokes were much worse. They were on the lash and gear 24/7. Real rough bastards. If they couldn't find any Germans they would start fighting with each other. They would have a massive bundle then shake hands and carry on drinking. Nutters.

Anyway, if the temperature was below a certain level these lads got stood down because the cement wouldn't dry. When this happened they were out of mega benders and everytime it ended in tears.

One night we were woken by loud music. I looked at my clock. It was 4am Sunday morning. They had returned. One of them knocked at our door. He was mullered.

' Do you lads want to come to our party?'

Well, we didn't have a lot of choice so we went over to their rooms. We looked at each other.

They had a girl in there. She was a bit punky looking and had bright green hair. She was proper ting tong as well. They had ' found' her in the squat in Berlin. The deal was, she agreed to come and live with us 'all'. In return for sex, everyone had to keep her in skunk and drink. Trust me it wasn't a good deal. She was an animal and was slugging beer like no tomorrow and steaming into the skunk.

She told us she had been a podium dancer in a nightclub. Everyone took the piss out of her so she got up and showed us her moves. As it goes she was great and beneath the green hair and tramp clothes was a really horny bird.

One of the Runcorn guys grabbed hold of her. He was way OTT and was trying to shag her in front of everyone. She wasn't having it and clocked him one. It all got nasty.

She latched onto me and decided I was her boyfriend. I didn't argue and we all drifted back to our rooms. She had a shower and that and didn't look too bad. I was made up.

We woke up next day around 1pm. Who the fuck was this bird? What were we going to do with her?

We all went to the local guest house up the road for a Sunday drink. Green hair was poleaxed. We left her sleeping in my bed.
Everyone washed their hands of her and told me she was my problem. Great.

We sank a few beers and started having a laugh. Fuck it. Who cares?

All of a sudden there was a commotion at the guest house.

People were shouting 'Fueur Fueur'

All casual, one of our lot said ' Oh there must be a fire somewhere'

We just gave it the ' Oh yeah' and carried on drinking about zero % bothered.

We decided to go and have a look outside. It was weird. The people were running towards were our digs were located. How strange.

FUCK.

It dawned on us. It was our fucking digs that was on fire and it was bad. Really bad.

Mayhem. That's the word.

Again, to cut a long story short the girl with green hair had woken up and decided she wanted to smoke a joint. She didn't have a light so took a Christmas ornament with a candle in it to somebodies room. They lit it for her. Instead of putting it out, the dozy bitch left it on a table then went to sleep. The curtains caught light then Hey Presto so did the rest of the room. It was a serious fire.

The police were called and the whole lot of us were taken to Berlin police station.
It went off and they locked us up for the night.

In the morning they gave us the phone call we wanted.

As it was my bird I got the job of ringing Pat the Interlord agent and explaining what had happened.

Ring ring.

Errr Pat it's Dave here.

Pat...Where the fucking hell are you guys. No bastard is at work.

Errr sorry mate slight problem. We have been arrested and are all in jail.

Poor old Pat nearly blew a gaskit.

Pat...You fucking bastards. You'll never work in Germany again

Pat had to come and bail us out.

One thing Interlord were very good at was smooting shit like this over. We were all read the riot act and told not we were on punishment money only 150 marks a week until the debt for the digs was paid to the landlord.

Nobody got the sack and fuck knows what happened to the girl with green hair.

05-22-2011, 05:19 PM	#7
Mirkwood Macks 5k club Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,520 Shouts: 6372 Thanks: 16,053 Rep Power:	The Girl with the Green Hair. Venue Berlin. Things changed. People came and went. Every week something mental was happening. A normal day would involve smoking super skunk morning, noon and night. My mates in the digs came up with a great idea. Instead of spending all our money on Skunk every week we would grow our own in the digs. First we did a research and development program. We bought as many books on the subject as we could get our hands on. After a month or so we were experts. We took one weekend off and headed for Hamburg. Our mates there had picked up what we wanted from Amsterdam. Interlord were getting into the dope growing business. My job had been to find the correct strain of gear. Being a bit of a nostalgia freak I had decided on the original hippie skunk Durban Poison. It's fast growing, gives big plants and was supposed to be lethal. Sounded good to us. images.jpg Nod my mate was in charge of lighting. Alex concealment. Jocky watering and Linnie diversions and security. We were big time. The only problem was we were smashed and paranoid all the time but didn't realise it. The plants needed 24 hours lighting at the start. This would be difficult because people see lights at night. We converted one of the bedrooms into something Anne Frank would have been proud of. In our secret room went the plants and lighting. So far so good. We had the special lights and the plants grew and they grew and they grew. The male plants were seperated from the females. After a few weeks the lights were put on timers 12 hours on and 12 hours off. Jocky was doing his Percy Thrower bit and the harvest festival was fast approaching. We were all at work minding our own business. Suddenly our names came over the tannoy. We all went to the office. A very angry red faced Pat Mcgrath was standing there with all the bosses. ' What the fook are you bastards trying to do to me?' To cut a long story short. The landlady at the digs had got her electricity bill. Obviously it was a fair bit higher than usual. She'd complained to the company who sent a man out. First stop was the box where he got dizzy watching the dials spinning around. It was on top. Our Anne Frank room was discovered. Pat had squared everything up and luckily the police weren't involved but we were out on our ear. Our stuff was dumped outside the digs in black plastic bin bags. A deal was done and we found ourselves back in my original Motley hall digs in Wacow. This time minus the smack head. It was grim. Very grim. We were back to sharing rooms. In the other place we'd had our own. On top of that the rooms at the back were occupied with the worst animals I had ever seen in my life. There was a team of Brickies from Runcorn. Now I've never been to Runcorn and refuse to ever go there in case I meet guys like these brickies. I thought us lot were bad but these blokes were much worse. They were on the lash and gear 24/7. Real rough bastards. If they couldn't find any Germans they would start fighting with each other. They would have a massive bundle then shake hands and carry on drinking. Nutters. Anyway, if the temperature was below a certain level these lads got stood down because the cement wouldn't dry. When this happened they were out of mega benders and everytime it ended in tears. One night we were woken by loud music. I looked at my clock. It was 4am Sunday morning. They had returned. One of them knocked at our door. He was mullered. ' Do you lads want to come to our party?' Well, we didn't have a lot of choice so we went over to their rooms. We looked at each other. They had a girl in there. She was a bit punky looking and had bright green hair. She was proper ting tong as well. They had ' found' her in the squat in Berlin. The deal was, she agreed to come and live with us 'all'. In return for sex, everyone had to keep her in skunk and drink. Trust me it wasn't a good deal. She was an animal and was slugging beer like no tomorrow and steaming into the skunk. She told us she had been a podium dancer in a nightclub. Everyone took the piss out of her so she got up and showed us her moves. As it goes she was great and beneath the green hair and tramp clothes was a really horny bird. One of the Runcorn guys grabbed hold of her. He was way OTT and was trying to shag her in front of everyone. She wasn't having it and clocked him one. It all got nasty. She latched onto me and decided I was her boyfriend. I didn't argue and we all drifted back to our rooms. She had a shower and that and didn't look too bad. I was made up. We woke up next day around 1pm. Who the fuck was this bird? What were we going to do with her? We all went to the local guest house up the road for a Sunday drink. Green hair was poleaxed. We left her sleeping in my bed. Everyone washed their hands of her and told me she was my problem. Great. We sank a few beers and started having a laugh. Fuck it. Who cares? All of a sudden there was a commotion at the guest house. People were shouting 'Fueur Fueur' All casual, one of our lot said ' Oh there must be a fire somewhere' We just gave it the ' Oh yeah' and carried on drinking about zero % bothered. We decided to go and have a look outside. It was weird. The people were running towards were our digs were located. How strange. FUCK. It dawned on us. It was our fucking digs that was on fire and it was bad. Really bad. Mayhem. That's the word. Again, to cut a long story short the girl with green hair had woken up and decided she wanted to smoke a joint. She didn't have a light so took a Christmas ornament with a candle in it to somebodies room. They lit it for her. Instead of putting it out, the dozy bitch left it on a table then went to sleep. The curtains caught light then Hey Presto so did the rest of the room. It was a serious fire. The police were called and the whole lot of us were taken to Berlin police station. It went off and they locked us up for the night. In the morning they gave us the phone call we wanted. As it was my bird I got the job of ringing Pat the Interlord agent and explaining what had happened. Ring ring. Errr Pat it's Dave here. Pat...Where the fucking hell are you guys. No bastard is at work. Errr sorry mate slight problem. We have been arrested and are all in jail. Poor old Pat nearly blew a gaskit. Pat...You fucking bastards. You'll never work in Germany again Pat had to come and bail us out. One thing Interlord were very good at was smooting shit like this over. We were all read the riot act and told not we were on punishment money only 150 marks a week until the debt for the digs was paid to the landlord. Nobody got the sack and fuck knows what happened to the girl with green hair. Last edited by Mirkwood : 05-22-2011 at 05:27 PM.