Mirkys animal kingdom 2011.
 

As you know when I first arrived in Bangkok Chatuchak animal market blew me away. Just the fact you can basically buy any animal and take it home.

We've tried having everything. Owls, Eagles, Hawks, Squirrels, Rabbits, Fighting fish and loads of different dogs. It's been traumatic at times. What people don't understand when they buy an animal at Chatuchak is the fact your pet is dead animal walking. The place is a disease pit. On top of that most animals for sale there are wild and in a state of shock. Take them home and they die. Simple.

Our success stories from Chatuchak are small. I think we have 2 survivors from maybe 20 pets bought. We did have Odin my pet hawk who we had from a baby. I took him to falconry school and he ended up a fully trained falcon. It was all going so well until a green snake killed him outside in the garden.

Odin lived by the sword though. He killed his fair share of Porno's nice creatures like rabbits etc.

The last 6 months have been devoted to the dogs. Again, having a dog in LOS is a nightmare. If you take a falang style dog to a Thai vet be prepared to get kicked up the bollocks. Dirty bastards scam you worse than the TG's on beach road.

We didn't know but we bought 3 dogs from Chatuchak that had bad illness's. Loads of heartache and I even had to put one down myself as Thai vets won't kill animals due to Buddha.

So, what do we have now?

Well one dog we got from Chatuchak survived all the sickness. Our copy German Shepherd dog. She's an evil bastard. Bites everything and everyone. I call her Yabba because she's so mental.

Next we have a Thai Bangkeaw. These are great but you can't get them outside UK. Vicious fucking thing. Porno's dog. Won't let anyone go near her. Supposed to be part Jackal. We got a good un from Phitsanalok. Looks lovely but bites. Porno's brother won't come to the house since we got a Bangkeaw. Result.

Now my dog. Ninja the Akita.
I always thought I could never have anything other than a German Shepherd dog. I loved them.
However, that was before I got an Akita. They are the ultimate. No way could you have one around kids. They are bastards and will bite but for 2 adults living alone who want a pet/guard dog it doesn't get any better. Big, nasty but love their owner. Fucking thing is like a bear. Strong and massive legs. He's a total nightmare and has broken my life but if I ever come back to UK he's the only thing apart from VD that's coming home with me.

Porno's Bangkeaw when it was puppy.

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Yabba.

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Ninja when he was smaller than now. Bastard won't stay still long enough to take a photo tonight.

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I'm planning on having a rest from Pattaya now. I'm going to treat myself to something a bit special in the Eagle department. Real big fukka. Crested Serpent Eagle. I'm going to Chatuchak this week on the look-out. It's bird of prey time of year down there.

They look like this.

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I've got big plans in the garden. Having a massive mini jungle cage built by my mate this week. Porno reckons she's putting rabbits in there as well. Obviously didn't learn from last weeks Akita killing spree.

More to follow for sure.........

Well, to each his own......having three vicious dogs about the place wouldn't be my choice but there's no accounting for taste :bye:
What about the practicalities of the situation? who's taking care of the pets when you're both heading down to Pattaya??



To be fair, it's taken you the best part of a year to work that out. :lmao3:

Tell us more...:hmmm:

For fuck's sake don't encourage him, he's already killed more animals than Colonel Saunders and Fray Bentos combined!

Aye, you're right...for a supposed animal lover he's inflicted a lot of cruelty leaving those "nice creatures" at the mercy of a fookin' falcon :whistling:

My old man and wee sis have a tame sparrow they found in the back of someones pickup about 6 months ago - it was a tiny bald chick and they both fed it till where it is now fully grown and will happily land on your hand head or shoulder. They have called it Spa and its a wee beauty! I will get some pics or vid before I come back in 3 weeks - but my cam was 1/2 inched early on - pity but only 30 quid 2nd hand last year and I have my eye on a poss CHEAPER replacement.

Oh aye and Mirky I have met an Englander who recently acquired 22(!) Huskys from BKK essentially for free iirc - he already has 6 dogs so his running total is 28 beasts!

:pissedmesen:

Porno hardly ever comes to Pattaya now but when she does her son takes care of the dogs. We have made sure they know him and are ok.

Trouble is you actually need guard dogs where we live. It's no worse than any other estate in LOS but the fact of the matter is there is always some Thai fukka walking about on the look out for an empty home. I suppose in fairness we may have gone a bit OTT but you know me and Porno :lol2:

We have had more than a couple of funny stories with our zoo.

My favorites are:

I bought a really lovely Asian spotted owl. We used to have both him and Odin perched on the balcony at the condo about 5 meters apart. I was away in Pattaya and Porno was going to some Amway meeting. In her wisdom, she decides it would be nice to let both the birds of prey fly around 'freedom' in the condo while she's out.

She also had this Thai squirrel 'Gadare' thing running about in the condo 'freedom'.

Anyway, I comes home around 5pm this particular day. First I notice the squirrel asleep on the floor. I thought 'That's funny, it normally runs away when you get near it. On closer inspection it's been mullered. Dead as a doornail with Hawk like talon wounds in it's back.

I caught Odin and tied him back up then looked for the owl. All I found was an owl leg. :terrific:

A few weeks ago, Porno went to buy some dog food at Chatuchak. She comes home with male and female rabbits??????

I gave her a bollocking and told her the Akita would eat them both. She assured me she would really take care of them and not let him get near them.

One day I came home and saw her security was getting a bit lapse. Silly cow had the rabbits running about yet all the dogs seemed to be blanking them. They lulled her into a false sense of security.

Last week when I was in Pattaya I got the phone call. Akita had not only killed and eaten both of our rabbits. Oh no, he'd then got the taste for them and got into next doors garden and killed both of theirs as well. I had to pay out 500 baht for 2 new ones.
That night the killing spree wasn't over. A big toad jumped in the garden and Porno said the Akita was straight on it and shook it. Game over.

I can't tell you why but every animal I come in contact with in LOS is viscous. In Europe and the States people take care to breed dogs with nice temperament but it's the opposite here. They want them to bite and kill things. Hence any of the guard dog types will be at the extreme end.

It's a good thing you cannot get these Thaqi Bangkeaws outside of LOS. They really are a handful and anyone who has an Akita around kids wants shooting. You simply cannot trust them. They just like attacking things. Porno wants to cross breed the Akita with the Bangkeaw. I bet those puppies will have a nice personality.:bible:

On a plus side we don't get many people wanting to break into the house since we got Ninja.

'kin'ell, you couldn't make this stuff up :laughing:

I hope my animal kingdom posts don't effect my credibility on here. :26_8_11:

Buying rabbit at the market is probably cheaper than tinned Pedigree. Keep them in the cage and let them breed could save you a fortune.

Milky, as you may or may not know those Akitas where originally bred in Japan to hunt bears! I hope you give it plenty of exercise or one day it might get bored and hunt you or Porno?!!
Simie.

As Mirky and Porno like to spoil their pets then why not buy a couple of bears for the dogs to play with in the back garden? I am sure Mr. Somchai at Chatuchak Market will either stock bears or can order them in.

Insurance cover would be adviseable. But I have never came across a policy that offers cover involving compensation for biting, scratching, mauling, gouging and de-capitation by wild animals that are kept within the boundaries of a residential property.

Mirky where is your house in Pattaya ...if it needs guarding ....i will find a couple of cobras for you and teach u how to handle and take care of them ...burglars dont like snakes even better snakebite is not murder.

I love the Akita but he's got social bonding issues. His way of being friendly is to jump on you and bite your face. I had some of that at 3am this morning. You ought to live in this house. It's sounds like the bird in the Excorist lives downstairs with a pack of Werewolves. That bastard Bangkeaw starts howling at 4am everyday.

Akita killed all the fish in the pond yesterday. I read that they see any animal in the home as prey and kill it. I reckon that's spot on.

The Akita bites your face ...now we know where your good looks come from !

Mirkwood your an animal in many ways so i expect that bastard dog will kill you as well...GET RID OF IT BEFORE IT HURTS YOU OR PORNO.

No way I love that dog big time. Porno will be going before him.

I've had a very exciting addition to Mirkys animal kingdom today.

We went down Chatuchak with Damion. I saw it.

A massive Barn Owl. What a cracking bird. Perfect condition. Girl wanted 2500 but Porno knocked her down to 1800 baht. Damion pissed himself laughing when we bought it. The seller just stuck it in a box and gave it to us. No messing.

It's upstairs perched on the balcony window as we speak. I just walked up the road and saw it looking down at me. Looks the absolute dogs back wheels. He's a bit fiesty to say the least but no worse than Odin. Big talons and razor sharp beak.

Photo's to follow. You will be impressed with this one trust me. Best looking bird I've ever seen.

Can Rolly start a book on how long it will be before its an ex-owl?!
Simie.

Milkpot ,you know whats missing in your animal kingdom ?



Roland invite him over for a months stay, Or ask monsterman around for the afternoon :snigger:

Once the Akita wakes up from its fish breakfast it will be after an owl lunch.

Which ever animal goes extinct next im blaming Mirky, a one man/dog killing zone

One day Mirky is going to come home and find the dog fucking Porno .....how will he cope with that betrayal...I draw the line at bestiality .

That will make a change from him catching her with her thia hubby........i mean brother.........or maybe uncle or something :snigger:

So far so good. I just checked on him. Eating,drinking and making twit twooing noises. This is the one that will ruin the neighbours. Thai's are shit scared of big owls. They think somebody in their family will die when they hear them hooting. I reckon he will kill them all off by morning.:shs:

£46 for a fucking barn owl? I used to go out shooting the fuckers as a kid as they're all over our place and the screeching fuckers used to keep everyone awake all night. You dopey twat, give us an update of your sleep pattern in a couple of weeks if you haven't throttled the fucker by then.

This is thread of the year, no one has a clue who is going to die next dancing

You might be right here. It's first night and I've been twit twooed awake at 1am. The Bangkeaw starts howling at 4am so this might be one of those nights.:yes:

Twit twoo my arse! They aren't called screech owls for nothing, wait til the fucker really starts letting go!

Ah well owl pie tomorrow milkpot

Are you going to pay 15000baht to teach it to hunt too. I'll save you the money, don't feed the fucker.

At last. I've got some great pictures of Bubo our pet Barn owl. I'm not scared of him anymore. Got the old falcon gauntlet out. I was taking a bit of a chance touching him without it. Look at the lovely colours.

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We took him to the hawk school straight away to get him checked over and ankle leathers fitted.

My mate has just spent out massive. Eagle owl 100,000 baht and Gyrfalcon from Europe 130,000 baht. To be honest it's great being back with the school. I'm planning on doing a lot more falconry, fishing and less shagging in Pattaya for a bit. Need to get back on track with a few things here.

Gyrfalcon.

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Kin'el, those Eagle Owl's can be nasty bastards. There is a bloke in Leicester who has one and it thinks nothing of attacking any house hold pet it see's. Nobody dare tackle the owner about it in case they get swooped on.

I thought I was Chief Nutter round here but there is no way i can compete with Milkpot .....he puts me firmly in the shade now silly fucker ...It will all end in tears ...mark my words ...Mirky is living on the edge with no Parachute and anvils strapped to his feet

Mad, utterly fucking mad. And now he wants to train it to kill monkeys.

What kind of cunt are you ?

When he said Monkeys ...he really meant Thai prats like cops, motorsai taxi guys and maengda ......

Hmm

What next ? Illegal dog fights ? Cock fighting ? badger baiting.

Some sort of inner blood lust at work here

That's weird. Me and Damion went to watch cock fighting Saturday down Chatuchak.

I think I've got pikey blood. :clayshoot:

Pikey brains more like.

Is he living with you? :detective:



Nice looking bird. I must admit I've always had a liking for Owls. :thumbsup:

I thought you were done with Owls anyway?......you previously said......

"Owls are particularly bad to have as pets here because stupid Thai's are scared of them thinking they are ghosts. Chances are NO vet will treat an owl. Yeah you can buy owls easy but if one gets sick it will die simple."....:detective:

.

Up in Nakon Ubon, us local expats have got a thing about dogs.
Local pom has got four (3 poodles & a mongrel), plus a recent litter of 4 pups.
Local sep has got five, mostly mongrels except for a crackin' chihuaha which he brought with him.
We head up the shame gallery with nine, mostly mongrels except for a wimpy poodle and a Shi Tzu that thinks it's arnie the terminator. And a moggie too, which adopted us the first night we arrived in lalaland.

The poms got a ploblem because his poodle (which goes everywhere he goes) bit a local kid & made him cry. Not the first time. He's got an appointment with the 'pu yi ban', looks like some palms to be greased.
The sep's had ploblems because one of hid dogs lurves chasing & part devouring chickens. The local rule is if it happens in your garden, thats the chooks ploblem. If it doesn't, compo to be paid to the aggrieved owner of the now prized fightin' cock.
Our dogs merely verbally & mentally torment passers by.

Yes owls are bad to have as pets. I just like them though. I love Barn owls and when I saw it that was that. I'm happy he pisses off our Thai neighbours and scares them with his twit twooing as well.
Pay back time for having loud music blasting out.

If he ever gets sick I stand more chance than most of getting him better as the hawk school can take care.

I've got big plans when I get home. I'm getting one of these built.

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Porno's son has been living with us. Thats another thing with Thai's. They are scared of living alone. When I'm away travelling she bottles it.

That's one ugly big vicious looking fucker and the dog looks quite lairy too dancing