been told by an ex-pat who owned a couple ov big poodles...that poodles are great cobra hunters... who will work in tandem to rid the property of the bastards.

Mirkwood, thanks for the animal kingdom updates. Always good reading. Enclosure area you have planned for the owl looks good.

Just wondering though, do you never fancy buying something like a parrot ? Surely they would be a bit more interactive and a better laugh to own than an owl ? Maybe you could get it trained up to kill as well, if thats what you're into ? A killer parrot ! That could be a first at the Hawk Club.

All the best with the animals, akita and bangkaew look great.

:cheers:

What Mirkwood does not understand is that in his home ...he is only one of many Animals /Pets that Porno owns ,and all are expendable.

Mr Mirkwood,

My apologies for some of my intemperate language.

Mind you, I still reckon you must be The Neighbour From Hell and having you next door must be like living next to a cross between Dr Doolittle and Dr Strangelove

Come round for a visit next trip. I reckon you'll be down Chatuchak yourself after an Eagle or Akita. Mans best friend. :grouphugg:

He will be down at Chatuchak being sold as fresh pet food after an encounter with Milky's house of horror

Whereabouts in Bkk are you milkpot ?

Rang Sit.
I like it there. Fly back tomorrow. I'm in KL tonight.

Mirkys Animal Kingdom May Update.

It's been a while since my last animal update and there has been big changes at home.

The year started off badly. My lovely Akita Ninja and the Thai Bangkeow caught Parvo virus. It's a real bastard this disease in Bangkok. Really a puppy must have less than a 50/50 chance of survival.

As I've said before, Parvo is everywhere. You can't kill it easily either. Say a manky stray dog walks up your road that has it. You only have to walk over where it's been and the virus is on your shoes. You then walk it in home. Of course in LOS stray dogs are everywhere. I'm still shocked at how many dogs die here. My friend at hawk club recently lost 2 Siberian Husky dogs to Parvo.

Anyway, I had to suffer the Thai bastard vet again. They are the most vile people on earth. They don't take up the profession for love of animals like maybe somebody in UK does. All they know is ' Falang cunt love animal. If get sick you can get big money'

It's duel priced of course. If you are Thai then it's cheaper because they know they won't pay it. They let the dog suffer or die. However, falang cunt love dog. He must pay.

I hate Thai vets as you might have guessed.

It's no good sending your Thai wife and pretending the dogs hers either. The dirty bastards know an expensive European dog must have European owner because again most Thai's won't own Akitas etc.


Anyway, the Bangkeaow lived and Ninja died. I was really gutted.

Some Thai fella contacted me and offered us a free dog. A South African Boerboel. It was a horror story. We had him with us for a few weeks but had to admit defeat and give him back. The owner couldn't handle him and I can understand why. As it goes the dog was alright. Right nasty bastard if anyone walked near your home but quite friendly to us. Trouble was he was one of those dogs that have all snot round their gob. Everytime I came home he jumped on me and wrote all my clobber off. Also he knocked everything over. Yes, everything like the TV, tables and chairs.

Odin the hawk got bitten by a snake and died as well.:hanging:


We bought another Owl.
He was fantastic. The only one you could actually say was like a pet. He was an Oriental Bay owl. 3000 pounds worth in UK. He used to sit watching TV with us. Really tame.

One day, silly bollocks Porno forgot to lock his cage.
Now he lives in Bangkok somewhere else :bigfinger

I rejoined hawk school and decided to have another crack at birds of prey. It was hawk season at Chatuchak. We bought a Black, Braminy and White kite (Same as Odin). All chicks.

All 3 going strong and full size. They are big.
I've had a proper aviary built at home. Everything cool on the bird front. Great hobby.

We've had hundreds of Koi carp.
I've tried my best but it's a lost cause. The Akita used to jump in the pond and eat them. Then the Bangkeow. After the dogs got used to them I had a period of happiness with fish. I bought some really nice koi's and used to love looking at them.

Until..........

Silly bollocks Porno's kid comes hime one night.
His mobile needs charging so what does the cunt do? He unplugs the air pump and uses the socket for his phone. I come out in the morning and all the fish have died. :bravo:

I had another try after that. We had some good un's.

One day Porno rings me up and tells me' Big white bird eat all the fish'

One of those manky stork things had done us. :bigfinger

The reason you see a lot of those white storks is because the Thai's don't like the taste of them. They eat every other bastard.

Anyway that was that with Koi's.

I still fancy another dog. I'd buy another Akita if one ever comes up.

The Bangkeow is mental though. Like a fucking wild animal.

Oh nearly forgot.

Porno's rabbits.

Akita killed 2 to start with.

Bangkeow 2.

Odin 2.

Owl 1.

Only one left.

mate...next time get a dingo:thumbsup:...that would be cool:cheers:

F'..in hilarious.. :lmao3:

Great update.............you couldn't make it up :bravo:

I think the Bangkeow is close to being a Dingo. They are part Jackal.

I love ours to bits but what a bastard that dog is. I've cracked the cunt in loads of times. :snigger:

It's like a fkn bear. Once it goes for something you can't get it off no matter what you do. I've seen Porno stoving it in with a broom trying to get it away from the rabbits. It doesn't bat an eyelid.When it was a puppy it was lovely. I thought ' I dunno why everyone makes a fuss about these dogs'

It's all clear now. They only seem to exist to kill and destroy things.
My one in un-trainable. It's to wild. If it can escape or attack something it's away. You can't even teach the bastard to sit.

Saying that, I did think about getting another one recently. I think it goes without saying Porno and moi are both mental anyway.

What happened to Bubo the Barn Owl?? :detective:

I told you. Porno left the cage undone one night.
He flew off and now probably lives in Nana Plaza.

I made a mistake. He wasn't a Barn Owl he was an Oriental Bay Owl

What happened to the fake German Shepherd ?

Agree 100%

Yeah we've still got her. As it goes she turned out to be a diamond in the rough. Almost like a normal dog.

And this is the man who started a thread about how he always attracts nutters.

Somebody tell him, will you ? I just get abusive

Animal Kingdom update May.


I haven't been home a lot in May.
As usual there has been comers and goers in the animal kingdom.

I've had cracking aviary built for the birds of prey. It looks awesome in the garden. It's not been without stress though. The Thai bloke who built it didn't turn up every day and it took longer than expected. Also, on closer inspection one of the doors didn't close 100% properly. You had to jiggle it about. The Bangkeaw dog is always trying to get in there and kill the birds. Standard practice in this mad house.

Anyway, one night it manages to open the lose door. I'm not sure what happened. The White Kite either escaped and flew away or got eaten. Nobody will ever know.

Bangkeaw also killed another rabbit. Dunno why Porno keeps buying them but she does.

Totally given up with fish. Life expectancy here is less than 24 hours. Either dogs, those bastard white stork birds or Porno's kid kills them by switching the electric off.

Still got my lovely other birds of prey. I'll take some pictures tomorrow.
One Black kite and one Brahminy Kite. They are really big now and proper nasty bastards. Look fantastic though.

The copy German Shepherd is doing fine. Quite a good dog really. Bit skittish and will bite but thats not a bad thing out here.

Now the Bangkeaw.

These dogs are really difficult to keep. Fk me if ever a dog ruined an owner this Bangkeaw has broken me.
They are just so....well so Thai.

It's impossible to train. It will just about sit if you offer it food or something and then only for a second. It runs off, it doesn't come back, it's totally fearless and oblivious to pain, it's vicious, it's destructive, it's anti social, it loves rolling around in shit and it will kill anything it comes in contact with.

However, a more faithful dog you will never find. It will not leave my side when I'm home. As I type this she's laying at my feet.
I got home last week to the great news that shes tried to dig a hole in my leather settee and it's fucked. Shes also eaten the TV cabinet. I can either live with half eaten furniture, buy new and watch it get destroyed or lose the dog.

Then, out of the blue we came home to find a dead Cobra on the drive. OK, it wasn't that big but I was happier to see it dead. Bangkeaw had done it in. We live at the back of a lake and do get snakes and other nasties in the garden and house.

On top of that my friend came round last week to drop something off. We were out so he tried to put it in the garden. He told me the dog went mental and looked like something out of the Omen. He was terrified and didn't come in.

Just those points make her worth having here.
I love her to bits but she is a bastard. No wonder they don't have them in UK.

Went to Chatuchak last Sunday.

Saw a really rare owl for sale. 25,000 baht. I wanted it but funds a bit low after the UK holiday.
Did see another hawk but by the time I got back from ATM it had sold. Probably a good thing. Need to get bloke back to fix the cage door or it will only escape lke the other one.

Im on the lookout for another Akita.

Watch this space.

Enough about Porno , what about the animals ?

And you wonder why your relationship with your wife isn't the smoothest :whistling:

I was supposed to be going fishing today.

Damion rang up at last minute and blew out. He had the hangover from hell.
Decided to have a bird of prey day.

Got both of my Kites out for a bit of a fly around. Bit rusty but getting there. I've been away to much really.

I'm off to Japan tomorrow so thought it might be an idea to stock up with dead chics. Phoned my mate at Chatuchak and drove down to pick up my order.

Porno fancied a look at the dogs so we had a a walk round.

Didn't see much to be honest then a dealer who knows me ran out from behind his stall and grabbed my arm. I knew he must have something a bit special that could not be put on show.

Opened a great big box and what was inside?....................

A Crested Serpent Eagle chic. :surprise:

It's not easy getting a Golden coloured one either. I knew I was looking at a rare bird. I've only ever seen one or two black ones for sale.

I didn't really fancy weighing in a load of money and I knew it was going to be expensive. I asked how much?

8500 baht.

Porno bid him down to 7000 baht. Seemed like a good idea. I went to ATM and got the money.

I am now the proud owner of a bastard great Eagle. My first one.

Took it straight to the bird school and had it sprayed and checked out. It's in good nick anyway.

Black Kite.

Attachment 17742

Brahminy Kite.

Attachment 17743

My Crested Serpent Eagle chic.

Attachment 17744

A full grown one so you can see what he will look like.

Attachment 17745

I'm planning more time spent with these type of birds from now on.

If you cut away the bamboo forest behind you, you'll probably find a couple of giant pandas have been squatting in your back garden. :respect:

"I'm planning more time spent with these type of birds from now on."

Sounds OK as long as the BangKeaow doesn`t beat you to it.

Could just be expensive dog food.

Magnificent looking birds but with your track record possibly not long for this world.
For once, not intended as a criticism just an observation on the shelf life of a typical Mirkwood pet.

Make sure to keep the photo of the full grown one,because with your trrack record the chic will never survive long enough to get to that stage.:snigger:

I've reared both the Kites from Chics.
We haven't had anything actually just die for ages. Don't want to temp fate here.

The Eagle is going to be difficult to look after but we are commited.
I can't believe I own one to be honest. I remember looking at them in cages at London Zoo when I was a kid. You wait until it grows to full size. They are massive. Really nasty bastards as well.

Should get along magnificantly with Porno then.:tornado:

I don't doubt that you will do your best, but look around you. Birds that escape from the aviary, rabbits that seem to be there only for feeding other animals, fish that starve to death or aren't looked after in other ways, and a dog that should be put down in the interests of public safety.

Good luck, anyway. As I said, magnificent birds

The rabbits are nothing to do with me. That's Porno's bag. I hate the smelly bastards and I'm happy when the birds or dogs kill them. :haha:

My white kite killed about 4 or 5. Porno only put them in the Eagles cage last week. Right from day one it was trying to kill them.

I've failed massive with fish. If Porno's manky kid or the dogs don't eat them the resident stork or whatever the cunt is just flies down and scoffs the lot.

The Bangkeow dog is a nightmare. I can't argue with that one. I stoved the fukka in 1 minute before leaving for Japan. It's totally fearless and immune to pain. I've tried the sit Rover and giving it a treat lark. Pointless. All it wants to do is escape from the house, run outside and kill things. I notice the classified adverts on Thai Visa usually contain one 'New home wanted for Bangkeow'
If you had kids around you they would be horrendous. You can't let yourself get scared of it or your toast. I'd never condone hitting an animal or woman unless it's Thai.

I know I might be barking up the wrong tree (excuse the pun) but I'm planning on getting a large male dog (Akita) to keep it in check. Probably backfire.

The birds get looked after though big time. The problem was before we had the aviary. Now that is up and running I doubt we will lose anymore. The Eagle is going to take some serious TLC though. It's no messing about time when you have it out either. Those things can really hurt you. I would not have entertained getting one before I felt ready.

I still fancy an owl though. I'm was gutted when Porno lost the Barn Owl. I'll get another one when I have chance.

Oh, dear dear.

Does that pirate bloke still go to Adam's? Might be worth asking him if he's got any spare eyepatches.....just thinking of the new eagle :eye:

This is so weird I had to post it.

Honest to god it's true.

Right, I got home yesterday from Japan.
I spoke to soon about the Kites getting on well. While I've been away they have decided they want to kill each other. Can't leave them in same cage as before.

Porno's had to seperate them. Anyway, she had the rabbits in the other cage. Now she has put them on the upstairs balcony with the baby Eagle. It's only a matter of time before he kills one but still.

Anyway, yesterday I take some dead chics upstairs and start feeding the Eagle. One of the rabbits comes over and starts scoffing the blood and guts as well??????

What the fucks that about? Are Thai rabbits the same as Thai people and will eat anything? I'm knocking up some som tam Lao for the fukkas today. :cuckoo:

Not a Caerbannog rabbit is it? :shock:

I've emailed the BBC to request next years Spring Watch features a daily report from the Mirkwood Towers, Bangkok.

I've emailed the BBC to request they put this clown in a fucking padded cell and film it

Life with an Eagle...

Honestly it's magnificent.
The only trouble is it's seriously dangerous. You can fuck about having a hawk or owl but at the end of the day they can't really hurt you more than dig their talons in your hand. I pick both my hawks up bare handed. It doesn't hurt that much.

The Eagle is in a totally different league. It's already taken a chunk out of Porno's hand. You really have to treat it like a tiger or bear type animal. It will be massive. I've got to upgrade everything. Avairy won't be big or strong enough. All the perch's need to be heavy duty as well. It's such a lovely bird though. God knows how much you would pay in UK for one. I reckon 10 grand.

The Bangkeow dog is really doing my head in. I reckon they are the worlds worst family pet. It's a bastard. Totally un-trainable. Escape artist and nothing you do to it bothers it. A real cunt of a dog.

Trouble is they are for guarding. Thats why the Thai's have them. On that front it's unbeatable. Nobody would dream of breaking in here. Also, it lays at my feet and is on 24 hour protect mode. Never had or seen a dog like it. 100% you can tell it's part Jackal.

I've got a love hate relationship with it. Totally destroyed our home. TV cabinet, rug, settee, fish pond, garden, rabbit cage. You name it.

What can I do?

Strangley enough they arent for sale at our local market or pet shop.

Most on here have a love/hate relationship...its just with you! :wub: :bigfinger

Good thought though, an eagle stall would improve things on Leicester Market. Beats the crap fruit and veg' currently on sale.

Does Leicester market still have all the holes in the roof ? I remember they used to have a string of buckets to catch the rain. It was like a fairy chain in the rigt light