Thailand Travel Tipz for newbiez....add yer own....

[tommiecoughlin]

wear dark colored shorts during the day and while out on the town at night, wear dark colored slackz.....dark colors will disguise yer piss stainz.

[old crust]

Get your head shaved, no need then to carry combs or brushes to do your hair after the many short time showers.

[tommiecoughlin]

Get your head shaved, no need then to carry combs or brushes to do your hair after the many short time showers.

excellent tip o/c:thumbsup:....was it a good trip m8?:detective:

[roamer]

1 Don`t fall in love.

2 Don`t enter any drinking competitions against bouncer,
you`ll lose.

3. Don`t waste time washing your hair before meeting up
with Bilbo in What`s Up, you`ll get a free shampoo
whether you want or need it.
Bring a towel and hairbrush though:rolleyes:

4. (mack- take special note) Dont listen to Winston
when he says he knows where to meet up in naklua.
You`ll only end up lost, scared and emotional.

5. Don`t accept any invites to go fishing with Magoo and co.
Starts at 11.00AM, you`ll lose out on valuable sleeping time
best used for recovering from previous nights outings
with above mentioned felons.


6. Don`t read any of roamer`s :oops: posts on the
state of the economy within a month of travel.
You`ll end up either cancelling or looking for
some tall building to jump off .

7. Don`t fall in love.

[mack]

Check your shirt for cue chalk. You don't want to walk around :patters: looking like a knob. :woos:

[mandajay]

If you have problems with incontinence, just go to Pattaya during Songkran - you can piss yer pantz to your hearts delight - and no-one will ever know :cheer2:

[roamer]

For any newbies/first time visitors actually wanting to
benefit from this thread, here goes:

1 Don`t fall in love, honestly don`t, not on your first trip,
it`s for fun.

2. Don`t worry about making mistakes, you`ll still be
making them after several trips, doesn`t matter though.

3. Obvious maybe but take your hotel/guesthouse business card
with you when you go out, if it all gets too much or the
beer gets the better of you, at least you can show the card
to a motorcycle taxi or bahtbus driver and get back to base.
You might pay a few baht more than necessary but doesn`t matter
on a first trip.

4. You haven`t got to buy a drink for every girl that asks you to
buy her a drink, she`s working, on commission, your money,
your choice.

5. If you feel you aren`t being treated as a decent customer,
pay your bill and leave, other bars will be grateful
of your custom.

6. Don`t enter into confrontation with thais,walk away
however "hard" you think you might be.

7. Experience is the best teacher,whatever you read.

8. Don`t go out with any more money than you might need
for the evening,don`t flash the cash, you can always go back to
your room(safe) or ATM for extra cash.

9. Pattaya is fun, don`t take it too seriously.

10. Believe it or not,most if not all members on here
would rather you had a good time than a bad one and will help
with advice, you only got to ask.

11. Don`t fall in love.

[tommiecoughlin]

excellent tipz roamer:cheers:

[scotfan]

1. Dont fall in love.
2. [B]DONT FALL IN LOVE.[B]
3. Try not to barfine from your residence (Thai birds get jealous of a man with a large packet, ie wallet)
4. Buy mamasan a drink, trust me it helps.
5. Treat em nice and your reward will be twofold.
6. Explore, Walking Street generally sucks big time, had happiest nights in beer bars etc
7. Sample everything. Massage, Lolitas, the Hell Club (twice), Soi 6.
8. Controversial? Dont be afraid of Freelancers on Beach Road, choose wisely and be safe with valuables. Hey whats 500 baht?
9. Chill, always remember your night out (even in credit crunch) is costing you 2k for beer and food, 1k + tip for LT with a stunner translates to about £50. Try doing that in the UK or US or anywhere else for that matter.
10. Really, dont fall in love. You will, you will. For all the sick buffalo in LOS you ever meet a vet?????????????

[ROLAND]

Make sure you visit Stupid Cupid bar

[ROLAND]

the Best Advice Is Not To Read Any Stupid Fucking Advice To Newbie Threads

[tommiecoughlin]

the Best Advice Is Not To Read Any Stupid Fucking Advice To Newbie Threads

..........................:kickcan:............... ..........

[yusamile]

the Best Advice Is Not To Read Any Stupid Fucking Advice To Newbie Threads


Heed thine own advice.:scratch:

To my friend who i took for the first time and is now an LoS addict.

I am your friend and pal: you shall not get there and bang the best shielas before me!

II.
You shall not take the name of the King in vain!

III.
Remember to keep holy, socks, at home, coz you look like a Dundahead wearin em with yo sandals down Walking St !

IV.
Honor your father and your mother, tell em you goin to New Zealand!

V.
You shall not kill , to much time in Secrets or the prices, they may kill you!

VI.
You shall not commit adultery and then post that shit on the net for all to see !

VII.
You shall not steal ,for the Monkey house aint no wildlife park ( well theres plenty of animals there, but you will be dinner )!

VIII.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, Coz in Patters a tazer is 200 baht and can fry yo ass !

IX.
You shall not covet your neighbor's wife ,..actually covet all you like, but if the guy in the next room catches you thinkin out loud, or jackin orf and callin out his wifes name.. remember No V111 !

X.
You shall not covet your neighbor's goods, again coveting is technically OK, but if you convert the covet into a covert acquisition of said goods, you wanna think about that tazer on yo ass, or some ape residing full time up yo ass in the Monkey house. :anvil:

[tommiecoughlin]

Excellent advice for all newbiez yusa:thumbsup:

....also....it is never too early to get in shape for Pattaya....as I am anticipating a possible trip in the next few months....tonight... I will start my physical training in earnest...

this evening....I will attempt to drink a 12 pack of Heineken in an hour and 1/2.... without getting sick.....

wish me luck:thumbsup:

[BigBadSi]

dont take a shit in the sea and then wipe your arse on the sand,the salt combination gives you massive nappy rash and chaffing the following day

[gonzo]

....also....it is never too early to get in shape for Pattaya....as I am anticipating a possible trip in the next few months....tonight... I will start my physical training in earnest...

this evening....I will attempt to drink a 12 pack of Heineken in an hour and 1/2.... without getting sick.....

wish me luck:thumbsup:Started my training tonight too......had a quick wank whilst watching one of the giks fucking herself with a bottle of fanta red on a webcam :thumbup:

Her sponsor buying her a laptop could well be my fave xmas present this year :laughing:

[BigBadSi]

dont hire a motorbike and think you can drive like a twat just cos thais do

[tommiecoughlin]

Started my training tonight too......had a quick wank whilst watching one of the giks fucking herself with a bottle of fanta red on a webcam :thumbup:

Her sponsor buying her a laptop could well be my fave xmas present this year :laughing:

that too.... is excellent advice for newbies gonzo:tiphat:

waz it a duel webcam m8tee?:dicktecttive:

[tommiecoughlin]

dont hire a motorbike and think you can drive like a twat just cos thais do

this excellent advice from a seasoned veteran could actually save a newbie life....:cheers: Si:thumbsup:

[gonzo]

waz it a duel webcam m8tee?:dicktecttive:Nah mate, didn't want her to finish too soon :pimp:

[tommiecoughlin]

Nah mate, didn't want her to finish too soon :pimp:

eye assume she took the metal bottle cap off b/4 insertion:sherlock:....this would clearly separate her from newbie bargirl status.:thumbsup:

[thailearner]

Change your cash when you get there.

Have a budget then double it

[tommiecoughlin]

when exiting the airport baggage area...you will be besieged by touts wanting to drive you to Pattaya....ignore the limo drivers who want 3k baht....

.....with a little looking around, you will be amazed at the number of drivers you can find.... who are willing to take you to Pattaya for 2500b:thumbsup:

[Elvis]

get nails cut burdz dont like getting scratched on there pussey they get mad

[Elvis]

when they say your hansum man dont belive them they say that all the time .
take it from me mack and me are the two best lookers on this board so when they say it to us we just say to fucking true :sultan:

[tommiecoughlin]

when they say your hansum man dont belive them they say that all the time .
:sultan:

....................................:kickcan:..... ............

[mack]

when they say your hansum man dont belive them they say that all the time .
take it from me mack and me are the two best lookers on this board so when they say it to us we just say to fucking true :sultan:


Paul, remember what I told you about rubbing that fact in to the others. :nono:

[butterflyblonde]

1) Don't ever make eye contact or shake hands with an indian tailor, unless you actually want to buy a suit. The same caution could be applied with hawkers selling 'general tat', be firm but polite (with hawkers) with a no thank you ('mai ow krap' in thai) but don't get angry with any of these people or you may get more trouble then you bargained for.

2) Hotel Safety. One thing I always do is check my escape route in event of a fire, can you climb down something from your hotel balcony? Is the fire exit near your room? Is there a swimming pool right under your balcony that's within reasonable jumping distance? The same should be applied when entering discos or agogo's, or any enclosed buildings, how will you get out? Are you staying closer to the door rather than right at the back? The open air beer bars might be hot without air con but they do have the advantage of being a little safer in fire situations!

3) Try not to walk beach road late at night or anywhere that is quiet, dark with something lurking in the shadows, if you must walk back to the room, keep to well lit routes with other people about where possible, it's probably a little safer to walk up 2nd road than beach road in the wee small hours.

4) When flagging down a songtaew, (baht bus) try to pick those that have passengers on already and avoid traveling alone if possible, I read only today that a tourist and expat alike both had experiences of drivers attempting to take them somewhere quiet for what could possibly be a kidnap/robbery scenario, both drivers ignored the bell rings and sped up, ran through red lights. In these hard times due to lack of tourists, it's not surprising.
When leaving Walking st at night, there are usually songtaews parked up on the corner of 2nd road, right next to south road (pattaya klang) that fill the songtaew with as many passengers they can fit in before driving up 2nd road, might be better getting one of those.

5) Pickpockets are common the world over, but there are certain gangs of thai mothers with oh so cute looking children that will sit very close to you on a songtaew, while your attention is distracted, the cute children on your other side may be going through your pockets/belongings. Stay vigilant at all times.

6) Don't put all your eggs in one basket, as stated earlier, only take enough money 'roughly' that you need for the night, I'd also suggest you don't keep it in 1 area either, spread it out in different pockets if possible. A guy I know that used to visit New York, often told me he always carried a decoy wallet with a small amount of money in case of robbery, which is good advice IMO. On the eggs in 1 basket theme, try to take a combination of cash, credit card and travelers cheques. Then you have another means to fall back on if 1 source is lost/stolen.

7) Although you are required to carry your passport with you at all times, nobody ever does, make a copy in one of the many shops that provide a copying service if you are worried about getting stopped by police, but NEVER carry your real one which should be tucked up in the hotel safe. If you lose that, you are going to have a lot of bother sorting it out at the embassy. It's also wise to have a copy of the passport for that very reason, so if you lose the real one, you have a copy to show the embassy so they can identify you quicker.

8) Prices for the girls, this is always a subject of hot debate on forums, in a way there is such a thing as a 'going rate' so to speak and most beer bar girls will be happy with 1000 baht for L/t and bartering with these girls is usually not required, or even price not discussed. However, if you choose to pick a 'stunner' in the Agogo bars and she won't budge/seems unhappy about dropping her asking price, (and they may well tell you what they expect to be paid) then you may find yourself in for a terrible performance, if you ain't happy with the price she's asking for then it's probably better to move on as there are plenty of available women who WILL be happy with what could be considered a 'normal Agogo rate for l/t) Like 1.500 baht or 2.000 baht for the night.

9) Beer bars are generally much cheaper to drink in that Agogo's and drink prices also usually vary on the location factor. If you are planning to visit all the top venues in what is the most expensive area, (Walking St) then I find it more cost effective to drink a few cheaply priced drinks from supermarkets that I've stocked up in the hotel refrigerator before going out. This will save spending so much on getting drunk at those higher prices.

10) It's usually a good idea to collect phone numbers from girls who you had a good time with, good performers, good attitude and so on. You can also save on barfines on occasion by texting/calling them and asking when they are 'off duty'. It's also wise to buy a really cheap 2nd hand phone from the many stores + sim card and only give out that number to the girls, that way, you will avoid getting hassled/bombarded with calls or texts on you 'real' phone number.

That's about all I can think of for now.

[Mirkwood]

Try and take a Soi 6 girl long time.

It's the best sex in Pattaya.

[BigBadSi]

never eat at an indian restaurant named Ali Babas,unless you want to be constantly pissing out of your arse and a feeling in your stomach like there is a blender inside

[BigBadSi]

never go on a jetski,and flip it

[yusamile]

1

2) Hotel Safety. One thing I always do is check my escape route in event of a fire, can you climb down something from your hotel balcony? Is the fire exit near your room? Is there a swimming pool right under your balcony that's within reasonable jumping distance? The same should be applied when entering discos or agogo's, or any enclosed buildings, how will you get out? Are you staying closer to the door rather than right at the back? The open air beer bars might be hot without air con but they do have the advantage of being a little safer in fire situations!

.

Oh how appropriate that one is now BB.

[Fork Handles]

I've polled a few of our experienced members for their best tips...here's what they say:



Gonzo: Don't eat the red pills.:pukex2:

Smully: Don't fart in a soapie.:pity:

Bazzap: Check the gold futures market before you leave home.:date:

Mirky: Always use a condom.:date:

ROLAND: Ring the bell as many times as you can. It will show the girls you really care for them.:headbang:

Winston: Take a bottle of cordial to avoid paying for laydee drinks.:fow:

Magoo: Don't worry. I can get you whatever you need.:falloff:

Bouncer: Stop looking at my bird.:Angelmex:

CDawg: Get a duplicate passport.

Max: Never believe anything a bar owner says, except for the ones that are always scrupulous.:pimp:

Klowndon: Its a photoshop. :bigfinger

Figjam: Where's Pattaya?

[agudbuk]

The girls that play the trumpet with their pussies have great muscle control

[Bilbobaggins]

don't wear a red shirt in Bangkok............

[bouncer]

Never go on a motosai.....................

[thailearner]

don't wear a red shirt in Bangkok............

But if you do want one just ask winny

[Pattayaman88]

Take various forms of cash, travellers checks, atm cards, dont have all your eggs in one basket.

Play legal and play safe.

Stay somewhere close and central to the bar area u will frequent.

Bring power adaptors for your electrical equipment.

Becareful who you befriend over there, especially the expats, most are great but some are con men.

Dont get sucked into time share scams, by filling out surveys or scratching game cards etc.

Harden your heart to the illusion of love in Pattaya or elsewhere in Thailand. These girls have an agenda and money is number one. Dont fall in love with the illusion they create. Just chose them, use them and lose them.

Dont hire vehicles on your first trip, like MC, or Jetski's etc. If you damage them or have an accident your in the wrong as a foriegner.

[Bilbobaggins]

tight cunt :bigfinger

[bkp]

Keep an extra roll or two of toilet paper tucked away in yer room somewhere, so if the housekeepers forget to resupply you sometime you won't run out during a sudden case of the Singha squirts.

[thailearner]

You could use the hose next to the toilet if you are really up shit creak .

[bkp]

Literally up shit creek. It has a nice cooling effect as well.

[cdawg]

there seems to be a trend of don't fall in love.But its a good idea to keep up on spending,although things are cheap,theres nothing as bad as forgetting how much money you threw around the night before

[tommiecoughlin]

if a ladyman won't take no for an answer and keeps pestering you...tell her you can't go with her cause you gay:thumbsup:....if she say "i gay" say I like ladyman....this will confuse her and she will say "you ting tong falang" and leave shaking her head:thumbsup:

[Elvis]

dont get spunk in yer eye like mirkwood his eye blew up like a red snooker ball ...
its been checked in medical books as spunky eye vd so beware :3some:

[Elvis]

swiming pool my arse